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"The Importance Of Being Earnest" Script Adaptation

Ernest Remake Script
Algernon: Layne-man did ya hear me playin da piano?
Lane: No, wasn't listening
Algernon: Eh so'k boi, how dem q-cumbuh san'wiches commin?
Lane: They're all done. Don't eat them. They're for Lady Bracknell
Algernon: Ya know me pretty well man, but I know dat woah-mon is pretty crazy bout dem'san'wiches. But boy, do I have the muncheeeees!
Algernon proceeds to take some of the sandwiches and scarf them down
Lane: Jack is here
Algernon: Mah boi Jack? Send ‘im on in
Jack: ALGY MY MAIN MAN, WHATS GOIN ON!?
Algernon: Nothin much mah boy. Ya know, Gwendolen should be showin' up sometime soon with Aunty B
Jack: H'alriiight. I totally have this super sweet plan to get her in the sa- Get her hand in marriage.
Jack looks over to see that Algernon is ignoring him and is devouring the "q-cumbuh" sandwiches.
Jack: Dude, dude… dude, not cool. You know Lady B aint goin to be so fly with you eating all her food. Its that time for her, you know how irritable she is.
Lane: Your guests are here.
Enter Lady Bracknell and Gwendolen (who is already blabbing about something)
Gwendolen (Behind the chatter of everyone else): So then I was like "Yeah" and she was like "No way" so then I told her "Yeah way!" But I don't think she really believed me
Bracknell: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
Lady Bracknell grabs her purse and proceeds to beat Algernon off the cucumber sandwiches
Algernon: Owww-mon. Whatcha go and do that for?
Lady Bracknell: You were eating all my food!
Algernon:…No mon! It was Layne. I was jus' examnin' the plate to make sure dat there weren't anymo. Layne, apolo -*beeeeeeelch* apologize to Aunty B!
Lady Bracknell: Damn it boy, how many times do I have to tell you its LADY BRACKNELL to you!
Gwendolen (Still blabbing behind everyone else): How come nobody is listening to me? I'm trying to tell you something important!!! Look at me when im talking! Buy me something!!!
Jack looks over to Algernon to signal his intentions
Algernon: Aun-Lady Bee...