The script uses some of the techniques that make for a successful horror tale, such as a contained setting (the lake house), creepy noises, and spooky visuals, as well as tease attacks and gruesome murders.
While there are definite strengths to the storytelling, the script would benefit from more development. Because there are so many similar horror films, to be successful the story needs to offer the audience a new hook or new point of view, or a new monster (demonic or human) to battle. Unfortunately, the script really doesn’t offer the audience something new within the horror genre.
With that said, it does offer, however, a tried and true formula in which the protagonist is forced to battle evil forces. The hook is surviving the night.
The opening sets …show more content…
Remember, the heroine should defeat the main foe last and should not only physically defeat them, but they should mentally outwit them.
Finally, the professional presentation can be elevated. There are several typos through the script (once Kayla is called Mary). There’s also a mix up in the officer’s name (not Roger). There are minor formatting errors (woods should be EXT. not INT.). The scene headings can be more specific to the location. Instead of saying INT. HOUSE – make sure the audience understands whose house.
SUMMARY & MARKETABILITY
In summary, contained horrors can be marketable. They are easy to produce with contained, limited settings.
The target audience is mainstream.
However, the story needs a stronger, more original hook.
The motivations should be stronger.
Add more twists that the audience doesn’t see