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Masturbation

Masturbation. It is a common activity practiced by billions around the world. Masturbation is sexual relief, learning your body, learning what makes you feel good. Yet, in every society, masturbation is rarely discussed. It is looked down upon by everyone; somehow you are vile for practicing self pleasure.
I have always been open about masturbation with my friends, but as soon as I bring it up around family, shit hits the fan. "I don't want to hear about that, that is disgusting!" I ask my family one simple question, "Do you masturbate?" If my family were to answer honestly, I know what they would say.
"Yes, Thomas, I do indeed masturbate, and I enjoy it quite well." But of course, we can't talk about masturbation. It's morally incorrect to even speak about the big M in my household. I get an answer like this, "That is none of your business."
Look, I'm not trying to get in on anyone's masturbation; I don't want to be part of that. What I am trying to do is openly discuss masturbation since, after all, it occurs nearly everyday around these parts. I feel that my family could benefit from discussing masturbation so I went the extra mile and decided to find something that would be beneficial to my family pertaining to masturbation. After thirty seconds of searching I found information on one benefit of masturbation: masturbation may protect against prostate cancer.
Music to my ears, or eyes, this headline was. I am killing two birds with one stone here: pleasuring myself and, at the same time, helping fight against prostate cancer. This is enough incentive for me to continue doing the deed, and at this point I haven't even read the article.
"A team in Australia led by Graham Giles of The Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne asked 1079 men with prostate cancer to fill in a questionnaire detailing their sexual habits, and compared their responses with those of 1259 healthy men of the same age. The team concludes that the more men ejaculate between the...