Internet Dating for Arranged Marriage

Throughout the years, advances in technology has changed the way people go about living their daily lives. One of these technological advances that has affected peoples lives in many different aspects is the internet. Whether it’s social networking sites that help you keep in touch with your friends or how you receive information, the internet has affected how people live, learn, and even date. Many people have given up on the conventional way to search for a mate and instead use websites such as eHarmony.com or match.com to find someone. Even in traditional families (transplanted in Britain) that had previously used arranged marriage, have now allowed young adults to use the internet to help pick a mate who their parents would approve of. Despite the fact that in both traditional cultures and modern ones are using these websites to help find a potential spouse, there are differences between the two. In western civilizations, dating was limited to either meeting someone on your own, or being introduced through a friend. However, for many people finding the time to meet someone became increasingly difficult as they would be too focused on work or other activities. People in these situations, who were still looking for love, turned to the internet to help solve their problem. The use of internet dating in more traditional societies has come to fruition through the dissatisfaction younger generations have had with arranged marriages. By using the internet, these young adults from traditional cultures can easily find potential partners who would be accepted by their parents. By using this method called “assisted” arranged marriage, the younger generations can have the freedom to choose who they spend their life with, while still maintaining some respect to their culture’s tradition. One of the major differences between people in modern cultures using the internet for dating and traditional cultures using it, is the qualities one is hoping to find in a potential match. For most people in the west, the most important thing to find in a spouse is love. This is obviously subjective to the individual and can be based on physical attraction to one person, or a psychological connection to another, or anything in between to another. For most people in the west, things such as occupation or background have become increasingly less important when choosing someone to date. When it comes to traditional cultures, marriage has a sort of rule book where love is not part of the criteria. Since many believe people can fall out of love, young adults from traditional societies look to establish a friendship with a potential spouse rather than love when deciding on a person to present to their parents. In addition to the connection the couple would like to have, the parents still have to be sure the two match in background, job, and caste. The idea of having a mechanic marrying a lawyer is put off as a ludicrous delusion because traditionally it is not proper for someone to marry another who is “below” them. The region in which one comes from is also an important part of the selection process as people look specifically for a person with a similar background. When I look at both of these situations, I cannot help notice at how much the act of arranged marriage has changed. From once being controlled completely by the parents to now giving the children some say in who they marry is a sign of traditional cultures evolving to more practical and sensible way of living. I also believe that this is an indication that the entire concept of arranged marriage will eventually be phased out allowing the individual to chose the person who they feel is best for them, which I believe is the most important thing in a relationship. The fact that grown men and women need their parents approval on who they marry is a ridiculous thought to me. I feel that an individual needs to be more than satisfied, more than content with whom they marry, and that sacrificing one’s complete happiness to cater to their parents’ ideals will just lead to that person bottling up their resentment or even cause depression. And even though many marriages that don’t use any type of arranged marriage end up in divorce, hopefully those people will learn from their mistake and not make it again. Marriage is an important part of most cultures and the way people look for their potential spouse will forever continue to evolve. The process in how cultures use these technological advances to help find a spouse show us that there are different ways to approach the same situation.