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The Hmmm Factor. Despite Ludlow's rather vocal protests, I decided to go
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Submitted by bobhope1 on December 11, 2007
Category: American History
Words: 1449 | Pages: 6
Views: 58
Popularity Rank: 104,961
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Despite Ludlow\'s rather vocal protests, I decided to go off and fraternize with the other guests at the party, in the vain hope that at least one of them might want to roger me senseless.
Alas, all I seemed to meet were uptight, prissy socialites who took offence at my usual party trick whereby I pull down my trousers, unleash my Lord Palmerston, and yell: \"Look, ladies! Big Ben!\" One particularly sniffy woman told me that my penis was not at all reliable as a timepiece, a statement with which I took great exception, arguing that when my todger was fully erect, I knew it was precisely time for humping. She snorted and turned away, the miserable, fat sow.
One rather delectable girl did seem to be gagging for a pounding from my Palmerston. She was a young, rich heiress called Barcelona Ritz, but while she let me grope her, I soon tired of her non-stop chattering, as she warbled on about her tedious, pointless existence, and I had to go off to get more booze to help block out her awful droning.
I approached a table laden with various drinks, and began mixing myself a cocktail, not really taking note of what was going into the beverage, as I was lost deep in thought.
\"You look troubled, friend,\" said a voice beside me. I looked up and beheld a tall, rather striking looking gentle-man, with strong cheek bones and a large, proud forehead. I smiled politely.
\"I was just lamenting the lack of willing wenches at this function,\" I said, as I stirred my drink, watching as the glass was filled with a curious, bright orange colour.
\"That\'s an interesting looking drink you\'re making there, sir,\" the man continued, helping himself to a glass of wine. \"What do you call it?\"
I took a sip, and grimaced.
\"I think I\'ll call it the \'Filthy Arsehole\',\" I answered. \"On account of the fact it tastes like shit.\"
This made the man roar...
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