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Divorce

Janet’s husband had announced two weeks before that he did not love her anymore and planned to move out and file for divorce. He simply said that he had thought about this for a long time and that he was sorry but he could not keep on living a lie when he had no love left for her. Janet knew that the relationship had certain emptiness for a long time. Communication was limited to things about the kids. Jim explained that he felt trapped in a marriage without love and he decided that he did not want to live the rest of his life feeling that way. He had become attracted to a lady at work several months ago and they had become sexually involved. He did not want to hurt his wife or kids but felt he was fighting for his life and had finally gotten the courage to tell her it was over.
Janet and Jim didn’t tell the children, aged 14 and 12 what was happening until one week after Jim asked Janet for a divorce. The 14-year old daughter responded by withdrawing to her room, avoiding the family. Her 12-year old brother is complaining of head – and stomach ache. He also tries to smooth the tension between his parents by writing notes to them, begging them to reconsider the divorce. Both children’s schoolwork is already suffering. Janet did not know what to tell them or her friends and family, so she’s avoided contact with her sister, parents and the church she belongs to.
Jim has moved into a small flat on the other side of the city. Since he’s moved out, Janet has not allowed the children to visit their grandparents (Jim’s parents) on Sundays like they usually do.
In the first counseling session, Jim told Janet that he was in love with someone else and he wanted a divorce. Janet grew upset and cried raggedly for a few minutes before she began to scream at Jim about his lies, his unfaithfulness, and her own stupidity for loving him. She shouted; “I’m going to see that you never see the children. I’m going to bankrupt you if I can.”
Jim replied, “If you try to use the...