Bad Judgment Causes Self Mutilation
Every day in middle school, I was verbally terrorized at school and the bus stop. I fell in to the category of low self-esteem, insecurity, no friends, being ostracized, and being considered retarded. Can you image that?
Back then, I was not strong and confident enough to stand up for myself. How could people be so cruel? I was smart, but people labeled me "retarded." I could sense myself going inside a deep black hole of darkness where no one cared, or wanted to be my friend. The people who used to be my friends turned against me. I remember coming home crying, or I'd go someplace by myself where no one could see my tears and sobbed alone thinking - why are people so heartless to me and not the same way to others?
Everything got stressful and challenging from there - I became depressed and I started pulling my hair out to make me feel like I had gotten rid of something that was wrong inside me. Then kids started noticing my bald spots and they teased me almost every single day. As the year went on, I started pulling to the point where I was bald enough that I had to wear a wig. Things got even worse from there. Every time I'd walk in the hallways, I could hear students yelling out "wiggy" or "baldhead scaly wag" and a lot worse. They also would try to pull my wig off and I could remember myself feeling paranoid because someone might pull it off and they would use my hair against me to make them win an argument or a fight. I could not stand being stared and laughed at every day. But one thing that I kept a secret - I was mutilating myself by pulling out my own hair.
I kept my hair pulling secret because I was ashamed and because no one ever heard that people pulling out their hair is a medical condition.
As I entered high school, I changed a little bit but I was still being talked about, getting hateful stares, people pointing at me, etc. I began to have rude attitudes to get back at the world, because I felt that people could say...
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